Through the looking glass

When you look in the mirror what do you see? are you happy with who you are? do you consider yourself a good person? more importantly can you even look in the mirror? these are questions many people ask themselves on a daily basis for good reason. But do we always answer them honestly? i think sometimes we deceive ourselves by trying to convince ourselves that we're all do gooders, we're not not really even if just for a moment a brief fleeting second we think i want to see that person suffer or i want to see how far i can push this person before they break or even i'm going to lie to this person because it arouses me i've seen and heard all these things from the bdsm community (vanilla as well but if this was a vanilla blog that'd be a whole different story) and it's sad that we can all do that to fellow human beings. I chose the title through the looking glass for several reasons first it was the first real book i read cover to cover as a child and i have literally read my copy to tatters over the years (i've had this same book since i was 5 when my father used to read it to me) what resonated with me was the mirroring images the opposites, like if you look into the mirror is the person looking back the opposite version of yourself asking the opposite questions that you've asked yourself? i know thats a odd metaphor but in a way it describes the duality that people have in themselves.

Sometimes i wish i had a lie detector that i could attach to every person i talk to, as a domme we're often expected to be cold feelingless unable to get hurt basically, but when your training a new sub it's hard not to put emotions in it at least for me so when they disappoint they truly disappoint not because they fell below financial standards or anything but because they hurt you. (no this isn't about anything in particular just a purging of built up feelings) some take punishments and loyalty and are just wonderful and even when they fall short they are endearing because they TRY TO PLEASE and even if they fall short they still tried but the ones who keeps secrets lie cheat or are disloyal thats what hurts i've had subs make me feel like a dirty little secret on domination sites if you can't be proud of being under the consideration or ownership of you domme how can you pride yourself in your service? i pose this question to those of you who hide.

Sometimes i'm superficial sometimes it's amusing to see how far i can push a limit sometimes i'm angry and i've even had occasion to be bitter and cynical can you look through your mirror onto the other side and openly admit your faults? few people can and even fewer can to people they know they wouldn't want to disgrace their reputation or rid themselves of their mysterious allure or whatever reasons they may have i could turn this blog into a black list of all the negative people i've come across but why would i? life has a way of making things come out the way they should in the end. And in the end i might fall but i pick myself up i might cry but my tears dry in the end what doesn't kill me truly makes me stronger and as my father and papa would say it builds character.

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