Well last sunday my meeting up with my potential sub fell through he got a stomach bug and couldn't meet up hopefully we'll be able to meet up in the near future as i'd really like a decent RT sub. There have been a lot of time wasters this week and family drama so i'm not exactly always rainbows and sunshine but you know thats life it has it's ups and downs. I took back at least in consideration stage a sub who decided to take off without discussion we'll see how it goes. I've come to the conclusion that there are very few finsubs on CM and more expect you to be a webcam girl sorry but i'm not a webcam girl don't like it fine there are plenty of cam girls.
I took the plunge on sunday cutting off all of my hair, mostly because of how badly my sister damaged it but it was nice having a change too kinda reminds me of being the 16 year old goth chick again i've been doing a lot of things that have reminded me of my youth lately skating having short hair stuff like that it's funny how so many things seem like they were a life time ago not even though they were just a few years ago i can only imagine what older people feel when going over old memories.
Not sure why but i've been all about second chances lately i wouldn't mind taking on new subs or anything like that lately but also rekindling older relationships with subs sometimes the familiar is awesome. As always heres my Wishlist i always like nice surprises so some surprises would be great and would make me smile.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Expectations
It's funny how I always get new messages of Fetlife and CM with the usual diatribe of "omg your so pretty hot i wanna lick/suck/touch insert random body part" heres the thing i'm a model i get paid for looking the way i do if i didn't i wouldn't get paid for shoots if your only messaging me to tell me i'm hot thanks but no thanks it's slightly irksome and makes me feel like jerk off material which just pisses me off. Conversely their are also the opposites who message me saying i'm a fatass ect if you don't like curves take a hike darling cause no one invited you or your opinion i have a waist thats a full ten inches smaller than my bust and hips (over 10 inches actually and i'm working on getting it to 20 inches but thats besides the point) and i run 2 miles a day plus move around hay bales grain etc and a watch what i eat my body is a temple granted a temple decorated with tattoos and piercings but it's still a temple that i take care of (if you can't care for yourself how can you care for others?) it just amuses me how people who aren't brave enough to put up their own pictures are brave enough to shit talk my body i'm proud of the way i look and your just a joke to me when you are so insecure you gotta troll a stranger.
Also i've noticed a influx of Dominants viewing my CM profile which i find amusing cause i have no interest in anyone Dominant whatsoever so i am not sure if they see me as a challenge or if they just want to troll me too i rarely get messages from them anymore since i don't even read Dominant messages it doesn't really matter but i just found it slightly strange.
I've noticed subs from the past popping up in my life a lot lately thinking i must've forgotten them or that they could redeem themselves in some cases that can be true in most cases i either dropped you or you disappeared and that typically means your not easily forgiven it's not that i hold grudges (at least not always) but trust honesty and obedience are all very important to me given that i hold these values highly once trust and respect is damaged then the repairs take time to rebuild trust and respect especially if i feel betrayed hopefully this gives some insight into my mind.
I've also come up with some new fun tasks that i'll hopefully get to try out sometime soon. with a sub or two haha. I heard from my ex sub that i freed so he could find a local Mistress and he did he is still to this day one of my favorite subs and i'm so happy to see him happily serving his new Mistress i do miss him from time to time he never really said no gave me what i wanted without games and he could make me smile and blush like very few have done before or since, hopefully someday soon i'll find another sub who can bring me happiness and give me hope that not everyone has an agenda.
Remember at the end of the day pain is weakness leaving the body and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
Wishlist as always make me feel like a princess <3
Also i've noticed a influx of Dominants viewing my CM profile which i find amusing cause i have no interest in anyone Dominant whatsoever so i am not sure if they see me as a challenge or if they just want to troll me too i rarely get messages from them anymore since i don't even read Dominant messages it doesn't really matter but i just found it slightly strange.
I've noticed subs from the past popping up in my life a lot lately thinking i must've forgotten them or that they could redeem themselves in some cases that can be true in most cases i either dropped you or you disappeared and that typically means your not easily forgiven it's not that i hold grudges (at least not always) but trust honesty and obedience are all very important to me given that i hold these values highly once trust and respect is damaged then the repairs take time to rebuild trust and respect especially if i feel betrayed hopefully this gives some insight into my mind.
I've also come up with some new fun tasks that i'll hopefully get to try out sometime soon. with a sub or two haha. I heard from my ex sub that i freed so he could find a local Mistress and he did he is still to this day one of my favorite subs and i'm so happy to see him happily serving his new Mistress i do miss him from time to time he never really said no gave me what i wanted without games and he could make me smile and blush like very few have done before or since, hopefully someday soon i'll find another sub who can bring me happiness and give me hope that not everyone has an agenda.
Remember at the end of the day pain is weakness leaving the body and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
Wishlist as always make me feel like a princess <3
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