Through the looking glass

When you look in the mirror what do you see? are you happy with who you are? do you consider yourself a good person? more importantly can you even look in the mirror? these are questions many people ask themselves on a daily basis for good reason. But do we always answer them honestly? i think sometimes we deceive ourselves by trying to convince ourselves that we're all do gooders, we're not not really even if just for a moment a brief fleeting second we think i want to see that person suffer or i want to see how far i can push this person before they break or even i'm going to lie to this person because it arouses me i've seen and heard all these things from the bdsm community (vanilla as well but if this was a vanilla blog that'd be a whole different story) and it's sad that we can all do that to fellow human beings. I chose the title through the looking glass for several reasons first it was the first real book i read cover to cover as a child and i have literally read my copy to tatters over the years (i've had this same book since i was 5 when my father used to read it to me) what resonated with me was the mirroring images the opposites, like if you look into the mirror is the person looking back the opposite version of yourself asking the opposite questions that you've asked yourself? i know thats a odd metaphor but in a way it describes the duality that people have in themselves.

Sometimes i wish i had a lie detector that i could attach to every person i talk to, as a domme we're often expected to be cold feelingless unable to get hurt basically, but when your training a new sub it's hard not to put emotions in it at least for me so when they disappoint they truly disappoint not because they fell below financial standards or anything but because they hurt you. (no this isn't about anything in particular just a purging of built up feelings) some take punishments and loyalty and are just wonderful and even when they fall short they are endearing because they TRY TO PLEASE and even if they fall short they still tried but the ones who keeps secrets lie cheat or are disloyal thats what hurts i've had subs make me feel like a dirty little secret on domination sites if you can't be proud of being under the consideration or ownership of you domme how can you pride yourself in your service? i pose this question to those of you who hide.

Sometimes i'm superficial sometimes it's amusing to see how far i can push a limit sometimes i'm angry and i've even had occasion to be bitter and cynical can you look through your mirror onto the other side and openly admit your faults? few people can and even fewer can to people they know they wouldn't want to disgrace their reputation or rid themselves of their mysterious allure or whatever reasons they may have i could turn this blog into a black list of all the negative people i've come across but why would i? life has a way of making things come out the way they should in the end. And in the end i might fall but i pick myself up i might cry but my tears dry in the end what doesn't kill me truly makes me stronger and as my father and papa would say it builds character.

new and improved wishlists

Accessories http://amzn.com/w/18VW26OOMUCRA
Bedroom/Household http://amzn.com/w/2NVEC8154IUGR
Books http://amzn.com/w/VRT6Q9LVCZVF
Clothes http://amzn.com/w/1MT8AYGE85ZIF
Corsets http://amzn.com/w/382SW2CV96T0V
Cosmetics http://amzn.com/w/3OZANY2N67DIL
Fetishwear http://amzn.com/w/3JDXKP0H9AYWH
Jewelry http://amzn.com/w/1JQFDD7GBGJMO
Lingerie http://amzn.com/w/36YH8JPBTZ0WM
Pet http://amzn.com/w/16AX8WPPQ05KL
Shoes http://amzn.com/w/TSHJ25M1KPKJ
Snacks/Candy http://amzn.com/w/1G0J2RET5M8PN
Toys/BDSM http://amzn.com/w/2VYEF103IK9LZ
Video games/Electronics http://amzn.com/w/2Z4UBRMTJIP3L
Wigs http://amzn.com/w/1XEG27BG0FRR0

tribute contest

So i am doing my first ever tribute contest yay me haha. the winner will get multiple rewards what are they you ask? well their a surprise there will also be second and third place rewards for whoever places second and third as well. the game is simple whoever in a two week period today june 28th till july 13th sends the most amounts of tribute (can be several smaller ones larger ones etc whoever makes up the largest amount over that time period wins and second and third place as well get rewards if the amount ties theres equal rewards for the winners)the rewards are things that are very special and usually only some subs ever get the chance to have (some of the rewards are things my own subs haven't gotten yet)

so heres how this works you message me (paypal or amazon GC only) saying your entering the contest and saying which way you'd like to tribute then after that you continue your tributes if you do more than one via either messaging me each time or leaving a note (in your amazon GC message section of note section of paypal) i keep a tally and then you get your rewards at the end of the two week period.

(i'm working on seperating my wishlists into seperate ones so bare with me)

insert wittiness here

My life has honestly been a lot like hell lately i just havent been up to talking about it much because in all honesty i'm not one of those touchy feely talk about my feelings too much types basically my parents got a judgement against them that they have 30 days to pay or they're screwed so my mom has decided to sell my puppy who as well as being my baby girl i've raised from the time she was 6 weeks old is also a huge investment i've put hundreds upon hundreds of dollars into as well as possibly selling some of my favorite horses and treating me like crap all the while. so it's been a hard time as of late for me coupled with the fact that last night i was huddled in a crawl space for 3 hours like a animal because we had a reverse 911 call due to tornados and i'm emotionally and physically exhausted anyone wanna buy a baby horse? haha.

i've also had to dismiss a lot of subs as of late for cheating lying etc the sort of things that as a dominant that puts all of her time and effort into bettering her subs it's painful and slightly heart breaking yes my subs tribute and some see that as prostitution well if your one of those please kindly step away from my blog. because i put time effort and emotional connections into my D/s relationships with my subs just because i don't have sex with them doesn't mean their isn't a bond between the two of us thats unique to us sure i have a sadistic streak but i can also be very affectionate and i just don't see why people stray whether in kink or not at first i'm mad but then i'm mostly hurt i guess thats probably because i don't believe in lying people always find that weird but truth be told it's why i don't hide my kink from my vanilla friends and family (the older family members of course not gonna talk kink with kids lol) i just don't get it when it's just so much easier to be honest why burn a bridge when you can simply say something isn't working for you anymore? furthermore why serve if you have no intention of actually following through?

I guess it all comes down to trying to be a good person being kinky doesn't make me evil it doesn't make me a slut or a prostitute it makes me a person with unique tastes just as my piercings and tattoos do and a lot of people think that being kinky makes you some kind of slut or bad person i think theres every type of slut and bad person out there from any group or race belonging to one or another doesn't mean anything but it does mean something when your judged for belonging to a particular group. I'm a 20 year old christian tattooed and pierced Bi-curious Dominant model who is secure in who i am i have curves but i'm by no means fat i have short hair but i'm by no means a guy i love myself and if you don't love me right back thats on you not me i forgive you anyway because i'm a rockstar like that.

as usual heres the link buy me pretty things Wishlist