He'll never know

He spotted her across the bar, it was a local cowboy bar and even though he wasn't really a cowboy he knew women liked them so he dressed the part. She seemed to look and act the part short cut hair under a black felt cowboy hat with a pink hat band short denim daisy dukes with a pink checkered shirt and black cowboy boots with some slightly scuffed looking spurs (in other words they'd gotten some use and weren't just for show). She was standing at the bar a drink in her hand slightly glistening with a bit of sweat, he had to go talk to her shyness be damned she was the prettiest thing in the bar because unlike all the barbie dolls she had her own uniqueness to her plus he loved a gal with piercings and tattoos.

"Hello, my name is Chris" he said walking up to her and offering a hand for her to shake. She shook his hand replying back "I'm Lola what brings you here doesn't seem like your kind of place" she said giving him a once over, he was wearing all the right things but she could spot why he stuck out to her right away though they were right they were new to new and in too good of a condition for the clothes he wore to really be a cowboy. "Uh, i'm not sure what your getting at here Miss Lola" He replied feeling slightly nervous like he was so transparent to her that it terrified and intrigued him.

"I'm getting at the fact that if your a bonafide real deal cowboy your in your sunday best cause your cleaner than some of the city bitches here (referring to the girls who dress up as cowgirls to pretend to be tomboys)" she said dragging him by the collar into the womens bathroom and kicking him down to a sitting position on the toilet she locked the stall door locking them in together. The only reason she'd been able to over power him was because she caught him off guard but by the time she was done with him he'd be begging to follow out any order she would give.

He sat looking at her wide eyed like a deer in the headlights unsure of what the hell had just happened but as he was starting to form a sentence in his mind she dropped her shorts to the stalls floor revealing even more of her muscular thighs and her pussy, his mind automatically going to fucking her he smirked before seeing a look in her eye that worried him a bit. "Now now now you don't think you'll be able to use that worthless cock do you?" she asked simultaneously climbing him as she did so planting her pussy over him and sitting on his face, he could barely breathe but if he couldn't fuck her with his cock he'd let his tongue go to town in it's stead.

Before long his face was soaked he gasped rapidly after she climbed off him "that was intense" he said with a stupid grin on his face which she immediately slapped off  "who told you you could talk? now strip" she said with calm authority. Him expecting to get his chance to fuck her quickly did as she asked only to be told to get on his knees "i'm not doing that" he said arrogantly before she pulled a leather strapped flogger out of her purse and began reddening his back until he did as she asked.

Bent over on his hands and knees he felt vunerable especially so when he felt her probing his ass and his ass began to be filled with a ponys tail butt plug, having never experienced this before he felt uncomfortable and full. She sat upon his back he could feel the flogger tickle his side as she did "time for a ride horse, what not the ride you expected?" she asked giggling he stayed still momentarily shocked only for her to get him going with the flogger again.

She had made him crawl all over the public restroom before allowing him to lay down butt plug still filling him as she once again face sat him, this time after a couple climaxes she began to tighten her thighs around him making him unable to breath until he passed out.

He awoke on the floor of the bathroom at some point later feeling sore and wondering where the woman had went was it real? or did he imagine it.

Accessories http://amzn.com/w/18VW26OOMUCRA
Bedroom/Household http://amzn.com/w/2NVEC8154IUGR
Books http://amzn.com/w/VRT6Q9LVCZVF
Clothes http://amzn.com/w/1MT8AYGE85ZIF
Corsets http://amzn.com/w/382SW2CV96T0V
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Jewelry http://amzn.com/w/1JQFDD7GBGJMO
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Pet http://amzn.com/w/16AX8WPPQ05KL
Shoes http://amzn.com/w/TSHJ25M1KPKJ
Snacks/Candy http://amzn.com/w/1G0J2RET5M8PN
Toys/BDSM http://amzn.com/w/2VYEF103IK9LZ
Video games/Electronics http://amzn.com/w/2Z4UBRMTJIP3L
Wigs http://amzn.com/w/1XEG27BG0FRR0
Spring/valentines http://amzn.com/w/2T0RXX5R0H0BT

Fling into spring contest

come one come all step right up to my fling into spring contest. All unowned and unUC subs are welcome to participate starting today april 15th and ending may 31st there will be a task trial and tribute contest, the tasks will include humiliation forced intox, body worship, writing tasks such as writing lines writing erotica etc cbt, and many many more that will be tailored to each individual participant. Whoever tributes the most during this period will win the contest which will have several prizes the grand prize winner will win the following: cam session, never released modeling photos, custom pictures, a erotica written by me tailored to them and a phone call or texts if your in the USA. the first runner up will win the following: 1 custom photo. and lastly the second runner up will win the following: a erotica written by me tailored to them. So by now your wondering how to enter right? of course you are well heres how you contact me stating you'd like to enter then you'll be asked for the first tribute of the contest then your trials will begin. Do you have what it takes to compete for my attention?

tributes can be sent via amazon GC PP and venmo. All tributes during this period will be put towards the contest which means that if your already serving me and regularly tributing if you want to participate let me know and i'll start your trials too. If you fail a trial you'll be expected to pay a 25$ fine for failure which will also go to your contest total.(contact can be done via email xrockinraptorx@aol.com)

Deprived

He had asked what their time together would be this time, she had simply sent him a text with two words "sensory deprivation" he knew to be at her place undressed and on his knees with his hands behind his head. She walked into the room a smirk on her cherry red lips, she hooked a leash on his collar which he slipped on his hands and knees and crawled about on his hands and knees following her around. She lead him into the room blindfolding him and having him lay on the bed their were closed toy chests on either side of the bed he had no idea what was coming and he didn't care as long as she was involved.

"i'm going to place ear plugs in your ears so that you get the full experience if you want things to stop safeword otherwise i'll just continue" She stated tying each of his limbs into the underbed retraints "yes mistress thank you mistress" he replied as he felt his ear canal fill with a ear plug in each ear causing the sounds around him to be muffled. He could feel his heart racing the intensity of the silence and dark combined with being tied was more intense than he expected. He couldn't gauge if it have been minutes or hours before the warmth of the whip connected with his stomach muscles the stinging heat made him flinch almost crying out she had caught him off guard each moment punctuated with another lashing.

Her hand caressed the welts the whip had left making him sigh at the softness and warmth of her touch she'd casually pinch and welt every once in a while causing him to whimper. Normally these small tortures wouldn't bug him in the slightest but not knowing what was coming not knowing whether the next touch would be soft or hard loving or harsh was really beginning to get into his head he was debating chickening out on her but he knew she had chosen this task special for him and if he chickened out now it would disappoint her something he wouldn't dream of doing to his mistress.

He pulled in breath in a gasp as he felt his cock being toyed with by a wet mouth he knew it wasn't his mistress because he knew she wouldn't lower herself to that level plus he felt another sting of a whip and knew that his goddess must've brought someone else in, who he couldn't begin to guess and he hadn't cum in such a long time that he didn't care who at that point. The whips stings were almost forgotten with the intensity he felt between his legs whoever was sucking his cock definitely knew what the were doing it was all he had not to cum right away but he knew that would disappoint his mistress.

he felt his mistress rubbing something maybe lotion into his welts his nipples anywhere that would prove sensitive before long he knew why the heat from the icy hot made him groan the happenings of his cock were momentarily forgotten as he felt the stinging burn of the welts intensify with every passing second. He tried listening for his mistress and giggle of approval or even a hmm of disappointment but the ear plugs blocked out everything he was in his own little world of pleasure and pain not sure if he was doing good or bad entirely isolated from the world as he usually knew it and he could only focus on what was happening then and there.

Whoever was sucking his cock had added a ice cube or two to their mouth which only intensified the sensation before he knew it the swirling of cool ice and warm tongue had him cumming uncontrollably and just hoping he had pleased his mistress as he could hold on no longer. After cumming he laid there weak only able to focus on the icy hot sighing as he felt a wash cloth wiping away the icy hot his hands and feet becoming free the feeling of the ear plugs being removed his world filling with sound once again light being brought in again as the blindfold was removed.

He had come thinking this would be an easy game he was wrong, when the blindfold was removed everything was put away and his mistress was the only one in the room she had made it where he would never know entirely what happened which only aroused him more. he knelt at her feet kissing her foot each time he'd lay a bill at her feet eventually emptying his wallet entirely. "good boy" she said at last as she walked him out the door "i'll be calling upon you again soon" she said to him a smirk on her face he knew she'd have more in store for him the next time.

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keeping your cool

Okay as Dommes we are superior but why act like a sniveling bitch about it? if you act pissed off at subs all the time their less likely to want to serve you why serve a angry person? i've noticed the more one complains about time wasters the more they seem to attract and why not they know that if your complaining about it that it might be easy to waste your time. surely i know how y'all feel sometimes you just have one of those days where everyone and anyone pisses you off and you wanna walk around with a crossbow taking everyone out like it was the zombie apocalypse but on days like that more often than not i try to avoid those triggers even if it means avoiding online that day because you shoot yourself in the foot sometimes when you go off.

You either do it by getting the attention of time wasters or trolls or you scare off shyer genuine slaves and subs. I'm by no means telling anyone what to do but sometimes it's best to write the letter and not send it than to write the letter send it and wish you hadn't later on. There are some of you like myself who do actually have anger issues (no i'm not violent i just have a temper the size of texas that i am working on) but you don't want to reveal a flaw or a weakness well goddess or not your still human and you still have them and sometimes it's good to step away than to make yourself look like less than ladylike.

In this fetish your going to find annoyances whether it's a domme you don't get along with or a sub wasting your time or your electrical equipment fucking up and pissing you off, there's a thousand and one ways for annoyances to pop up. I'm personally the type of person who tries to keep negativity out of my life that's not always possible but in the cases when it's not i try to keep calm and either walk away from the stressing factor or handle it as maturely and civilly as i can, i'm not saying i don't lose my shit on occasion i do everyone does but if you can avoid raising your blood pressure over it and maintaining grace and dignity i say try to do so as often as possible and be what your representing a goddess. if this offends anyone sorry but i have my opinions they may differ from yours but that's life.

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nice PRICK

Okay this time i wanted to talk about safety for multiple reasons firstly being i've had a lot of newbie dommes asking about what they should or shouldn't allow in a RT session, as i've said previously it does have a lot to do with what your comfortable with but it also has to do with safety. Their are certain terms for safety in bdsm such as SSC RACK and PRICK the following descriptions of these were taken from the bdsm wiki page "SSC stands for Safe, Sane, Consensual. It is far and away the most recognizable and popular model of consent in BDSM circles, though not without criticism." "RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. It is the second most popular consent model. It was created to overcome perceived shortcomings of SSC." "PRICK stands for Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink. It is an alternative to RACK that emphasizes personal responsibility for choices and consequences.."

While RACK and SSC are the more popular choices i want to discuss them on a different level and why PRICK is my personal choice. SSC is all about doing everything safe and while sanity and consent are definitely important factors i find SSC a little on the boring side. and for RACK think about it it
s risk aware consensual kink so basically it's going into whatever your doing with open eyes but without too much thought sometimes with PRICK you have the personal responsibility as a Dominant to think about consequences and anything that can go bad thats why PRICK is my chosen method.

Think about this for a moment if your doing CBT in a RT session with a sub and something goes wrong you could affect his life by making him sterile making him lose his genitalia etc and not only would you have to live with that guilt but it also opens you up for legal and criminal charges. there's always going to be a idiot out there who wants to go to extremes being stabbed in the testicles being hung from them etc you as a Dominant have the responsibility to say no this is too dangerous for the both of us and belongs in a fantasy (you could pretend and roleplay those things without acting them out so that they get played out without the danger) because theres no contract that avoids a illegal act.

Blackmail is another to be very well thought out, blackmail is illegal if the sub changes his mind contract or no contract he can call the cops on you if you persist. i personally do blackmail with very few subs usually after getting to know them getting a feel if their just into it for the fantasy or really into it there is a big difference between the two and you can usually tell after a bit. Especially with more extreme kinks it's best to get to know someone before attempting things as you could get your butt in some hot water if your not careful.

Besides the legal ramifications are the moral ones if a man loses his genitals from extreme CBT would you be able to live with yourself? if a man loses his wife (someone who didn't deserve or consent to be involved in your kink) or family or friends etc because of blackmail or something along those lines would you be okay with that? if you were playing breath play and the sub passed out and got brain damaged would you be able to deal with that? these are things to think about when engaging in more risky play as a Dominant your a care taker of your subs they can be treated like crap and abused but in the end it is YOUR responsibility to say NO to the subs sometimes because your the one with the final say in the end that power is yours but theres also a responsibility in being a Dominant that people don't often consider. If it's something that puts my sub in physical or emotional danger or risk i always think of the possible consequences to both of us and that is important for any successful Domme i think. And to those who engage in riskier behaviors they should think beforehand about all the possibilities both sub and domme alike. playing risky can be fun but it can also be risky and even deadly.

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my inner roleplayer

What many of you don't know is that i'm also a ageplayer as well as a regular domme and a findomme, the somewhat taboo fetish is something i've been into for a while. Unlike a lot of other ageplayers i can play both roles i enjoy being the mommy domme to my little or my child (no i wont change a shitty diaper it's a hard limit) having them breast feed having their binky or their footsie pj's or coloring me a pretty picture theres a certain special bond that goes with playing the mother role to someone the care giver i've been in the mommy role for age players who identify with ages from 10 months to 13 years and i truly enjoy it.

Reversely i enjoy being the bratty teenage domme bossy daughter to subs occasionally. That's actually where my pseudonym Lolita Lee came from in part is i enjoy being the lolita role demanding my allowance from a submissive father. I realize not everyone has these fetishes and they don't have to it's just my fetishes i don't incorporate them into every dynamic but i do find my two sides to be interesting the ageplayer mother figure expressing my maternal feelings of caring and nurturing and my ageplayer daughter figure fulfilling my needs for comfort and care.

as with in age playing and all my other fetishes their is a undertone of financial domination with that as well which especially in the mommy role can be difficult to pull off but it can be done without shattering the reality you've built up for yourself and your sub. at the heart of it i'm a role player i've done role playing as a zombie apocalypse survivor turning herself into a queen of a male community where they all bend to her needs (me thinks i watch/read too much walking dead) to being a actual princess to a mafia queen i enjoy creating a story with my subs where we have our own world.

This in part probably comes a bit from the fact that ta da i grew up larping and playing D&D and shit so i'm a mega super nerd but also real life can be boring why always sit around being who you are when you can be anyone and everyone you want to be. that doesn't mean i always have my head up in the clouds but sometimes finding your head up in the clouds isn't such a bad thing.

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to be or not to be owned

ownership isn't something to be taken lightly, you wouldn't walk up and randomly propose to a woman just because you found her hot would you? (if you would then you really are a idiot) it's a commitment not to be taken lightly so before you offer yourself up for ownership ask yourself some things like firstly are you okay with serving and being loyal to one goddess and one alone? while some goddesses will occasionally let their boys tribute other goddesses it doesn't mean your free to without permission and if you can't find yourself loyal then maybe you shouldn't be owned.

Another question to ask yourself is can you be honest? why honesty you might be wondering well it's fairly simple honesty is proven fairly quickly when owned because there will always be dommes who try to poach if your not honest about them contacting you then well let me put it this way things have a habit of coming out in the wash and you'll be found out if your not up front and honest eventually and when that happens you'll get a bad reputation and dismissal which is very disgraceful.

Is the Domme your wanting to serve the right one for you? while finding your lady attractive is important keep in mind that looks fade and the biggest sex organ is the brain think about whether your goals of your servitude are aligned whether you share similar kinks or even if your compatible in a friendly manner. these are important things to consider in your search.

Are you being disrespectful by asking instantly for ownership? it's no wonder that many dommes make payout fees to end ownership when so many subs are hi i love you own me now please it's tacky and honestly makes me wanna smack subs around a bit when they do it and not in a fun way. It's one thing to tell a domme hey i think we could be compatible can i work towards ownership it's another entirely just to expect her to instantly put the work into you when no trust on either side has been built or getting to know one another.

It's a common misconception with newer subs that you have to be owned to play or owned at some point to be a "real sub/slave" well guess what that's a load of horse manure. Firstly there's community whore's subs who enjoy playing the field and theres nothing wrong with that as long as your not making promises that your not following through with. You are a real sub or slave by your definition if you don't feel you need to be owned to serve or your allergic to monogamy that doesn't make you less of a slave it just makes you who you are.

So in the end think about what you want before you bring in another persons time to be wasted think of the pros and cons of ownership if it's something you want then proceed with the lady of your choosing who is someone you can see yourself serving long term. Don't run off after ownership, Don't back out of fees that are agreed upon, Don't lie about wanting to be owned just because you think the domme wants to hear tose things. Do be yourself and be open about experience or lack of it, Do be honest about what you seek straightforward subs tend to make more friends than sneaky ones.

It's up to you whether or not you want to be owned subs are not submissive to all but they choose who they submit to theres power in that and in that power you have a responsibility to have a little slice of integrity in your actions. If a domme ran around doing unethical things she's called unprofessional (and while i disagree with that term unless she's a pro domme because then it seems more like business less like fetish) if you do things the same way as from  submissive standpoint you are just as unprofessional and unethical as the dommes that are often mocked.

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mentoring

Okay since i've been having so many ladies ask me lately to mentor them i've decided to write this blog out, firstly when i mentor a girl it's usually when i get along with them well where not only do i mentor them but we're also friends (occasionally FWB but thats not always the case) if i'm taking time away from finding my own subs to help you find your own and help you find your path so that means i'm throwing away tributes to give you my time so don't waste it nothing pisses me off more than me getting close to and mentoring a girl only for her to start getting her tributes and then start acting like her shit don't stink or disappear this isn't always the case idk if she wants public mentioning so i'll refer to her as miss K but not only did i help mentor her but we shared secrets and we're still to this day very close we get each other gifts occasionally etc i prefer respect from those i take the time to help.

When a girl i'm mentoring gets a tribute it makes me so insanely happy that what she's doing is working and she blossoms into her own i don't mentor to get something out of it i mentor because i enjoy the feeling of helping and teaching other dommes and i don't mind taking on new ladies to help but at the same time don't forget your roots and where you come from and who helped you get there. i have a insane amount of respect for any lady who's guided me and given me tips over the years and i expect some respect if you want to learn from me as well since i'm taking my time to help you.

Ladies always say their time is valuable and that's true no i wont charge you to learn from me but i do expect that i'm to be treated properly for helping you out i love my girls still to this day i have girls i mentored years ago that i keep in close contact with and i love the connection you can get with other dommes almost like a sisterhood and you don't always have to take my advice but if you want to learn from me i do expect you to respect me and the advice i give if this bugs you the don't contact me to teach you

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Jilted by time.

So you got your time wasted? well it happens to us all for a variety of reasons, whether it's because your new and don't know how much time to spend before asking for a tribute and let subs take advantage, or maybe your bored and feel like spending a little extra time on a sub, hell even if they give you a feeling like they just need to warm up to you etc. Firstly don't feel bad if you get taken for a ride it has happened to the best of us and that's a part of life sometimes instead of learning by suggestion you have to learn by learning yourself and even after learning this lesson you still might repeat it. Now that we've gotten that out of the way we'll start with how your time is only wasted if you let it.

Some dommes after this lesson have certain rules, like myself for instance my rules are until tribute is given only vanilla conversations or questions regarding their experience level take place that way they don't get anything fun for free. Other dommes i've heard only do vanilla conversations or a certain number of conversations before tribute is given so theirs ways to try and set parameters to try to avoid time wasters more though sometimes you break these parameters if you so choose or don't have them at it takes all kinds ladies. If a sub makes you feel like their wasting your time move along the fetish should be fun and if they make you feel negative i wouldn't stick around.

Subs can only waste the amount of time you give them to waste i prefer trying to get a small tribute early on in a conversation if i click with the sub even if it's 5$ it shows their serious about wanting to put something out there time wasting subs typically pinch pennies so hard they have abe Lincoln permanantly engraved on their finger so it's a semi decent way to weed them out. But here's the kicker if you decide to spend 2 hours talking constantly with a sub then tribute comes up and like some form a cheap magic poof he disappears then you wasted your time because you let him string you along if you started to feel like it was going to be a endless conversation either leave or bring up tribute sooner.

As always your the domme your in control of the conversation so don't let subs take you for a ride only to walk off and get their jollies. Will it still happen from time to time yes, but if you always keep in the back of your mind he isn't wasting my time unless i let him then your more likely to know when to set your cards down and tell it like it is and walk away hopefully this helps other ladies have less of their time wasted and a better view point.

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questioning the questions

Just because i want to get to know subs doesn't mean i'm less of a domme it doesn't mean that getting to know someone makes me less in control from a logical standpoint if a domme knows more about a sub ho they got into bdsm what their experiences are what their interests and limits are it's easier to get into their heads and get into a mental state where you can give them a really good mind fuck. I think a lot of bdsm is cerebral and just going through the motions for the sake of it gets old quickly. i like finding nuances in a subs personality and using them against them some subs have told me that i was good at mind fucking them without them even realizing it until it's too late to turn back and thats because i take the time to get to know a bit about any potential sub.

Some subs have said that a sub shouldn't tell a domme their ideals because then it's automatically topping from the bottom or she's not a real domme. that might be the case if the domme did exactly what the subs ideal was but that's not why i ask. i ask because it tells me how you work as a sub it tells me how you view bdsm and findom it tells me how your mind thinks and considers bdsm and findom it. Also why not learn as much as possible about a sub and their interests to know if their compatible or not for instance if my favorite fetish is a hard limit for them there probably better off with a mistress who's also not interested in that fetish.

So if subs want to judge me based on my interest in getting to know them on a psychological level then thats their loss because anyone can walk up call a sub some names and say give me money (not accusing anyone of that) but my style is to try and find what makes a sub tick partially because i sat in on a lot of my moms psychology classes for college so it gave me a fascination with the workings of the human mind and partially because sometimes it's good to know for instance a sub hates writing lines so that if they piss me off i can go to some of the things that annoy the subs for whatever reason they need punishing.

I also tend to find it interesting that will say things to the affect of oh if you ask about what i want your not a true domme or your not as dominant as other dommes who don't ask those things because that to me lacks submission entirely. they think it's not submissive of them to answer those questions but they still find it submissive to tell you your not dominant for asking those questions. I find it rather disrespectful yet funny at the same time.

Honestly if i cant find a intellectual connection with a sub then i'm less likely to have much interest with him maybe it's because i find intelligence sexy or maybe it's because stupid people annoy me either way it's my preference as a domme to know more about a sub and i'm sure all the subs i own have owned or have rt sessioned with would agree that i'm dominant whether i ask those questions or not

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why leaving UC/owned subs alone is important

Firstly i could say the obvious thing that is do unto others as you would have them do to you but i think a little more depth is important in this situation. So i'll break this down into sections, firstly like any relationship it's important not to try and put a wedge between a couple in this instance it's the D/s  couple that you would be putting a wedge between. Ethically would you go around trying to split up a couple who are engaged or something just because you had a interest in the man? if you answered yes i would say re-evaluate your thought process if you answered no then why would you want to try and split up a dynamic between two people.

But subs stray. While thats true if they had no where to stray to then they'd be less likely to go from domme to domme to domme (i'm not saying community whores but subs who say they want ownership) i have in my profile that if a sub wants to stray from his mistress to not bother with me because i wont aid in cheating if a sub can't be honest with themselves and others then their not worth my time and shouldn't be worth your time either, because if they'd do it to another domme they'll do it to you and keep going from domme to domme so while sometimes they are responsible for their disloyalty why would you wish to aid them in disrespecting the female gender in general if you believe in female supremacy then helping a sub betray a fellow woman defeats that purpose and even if you don't believe in female supremacy why would you help a sub do something he'd turn around and do to you.

If your a domme and you don't take the time to check to see if a sub is owned or if you know a sub is owned and contact them anyway you'll get a very bad reputation very quickly with other ladies as being rude unethical and distasteful and i've had subs who've been contacted (who wished to remain unnamed) say that they felt that dommes who contacted them when they were owned trying to seduce them away from their owners were sleazy desperate and didn't deserve to be called dominant. Now who wants to run around with a reputation like that i know i don't i'd much rather lose a few bucks by keeping away from owned UC or straying boys then to be seen as anything less than a goddess.

Another point is if you owned a sub how would you feel if you found out a domme was doing it to your owned sub i'm sure you wouldn't appreciate them trying to steal away your pet whether it worked or not it's still a affront to the time and effort you put into owning a sub, lets be realistic ownership while rewarding is a more time consuming and sometimes more tedious thing than just playing with a sub so why would you want to put in all that effort just to get a metaphorical finger from another domme trying to piss on your head and tell you it's raining. If you want you be treated like a respected lady then act like one i don't want other ladies messing with my subs so i don't mess with theirs if we all lived by that then there wouldn't be any issues with sub stealing. Yes dommes are competitive yes theres probably more findommes than finsubs but that doesn't mean you have to act without class. You make less enemies if you follow basic domme etiquette.

Another thing to consider is repercussions other than a bad reputation such as other dommes being less likely to give you heads up on time wasters or give advice or help you etc if you try to steal subs your often times pushed out of the domme sisterhood and treated like a pariah.

This part is for the subs. Not everyone wants to be owned that's logical and understandable if you want to be a community slut be upfront and honest about it your less likely to make enemies that way, why not be honest and leave in your wake a bunch of happy dommes who played with you a bit and moved on than a bunch of pissed off ex owners who you wont be able to play with again and revisit. if your not sure if you want to be owned or not say so you cause ladies less trouble that way. To the boys who are loyal to their ladies and give them a heads up when a domme tries to sneak them away good on you, you should be proud of your loyalty and knowing that ownership means something.

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growing up

When people ask me about my childhood i answer that it was complicated which is true, i grew up working hard for everything i got had a shitty older sister (which i've blogged about previously) but when i think about my childhood one memory comes to mind. I was young probably 7 i don't remember exactly but it was when i was way into a bugs life. it was christmas time and my parents couldn't afford it to do anything for us. Now being broke we weren't exactly spoiled kids so we prepared ourselves to wake up christmas morning to nothing but a family breakfast, instead we woke up to one of the best christmases i could remember. Now i'm sure your probably wondering how it happened, so were we apparently my parents had waited until we went to bed for days before and found a radio station that let them work to earn their daughters a christmas. at that point my mother was schooling us during the day and secretly working at night with my dad to bring us a christmas. When we asked they just told us that god brought us a miracle i suppose they didn't want us to feel guilty that they had busted their asses to help us out, our sister in law accidentally let it slip that week and that's how i knew what my parents did for us.

That is what good parents do, now i'm not saying my parents were perfect we have our issues and they made their mistakes (their human beings expecting perfection out of imperfect creatures is like expecting a man to give birth that shit just aint gonna happen) but in the end if the one thing you associate with growing up is the massive sacrifice they did to make you smile then i'd say you have some pretty damned good parents my dad worked all day then worked all night my mom taught us all day then worked all night and i'd say that makes them pretty great.

My family as you know has been going through some stuff with my sister pulling her BS out of her ass again, but even when my mom takes it out on me and even when she's bitchy for no reason (probably cause she's annoyed i'm taking care of her :P) i can still look at her a see the sacrifice both of my parents made for me throughout my life both in material and emotional ways and they probably never know how appreciative i am. probably because i tend to be a drama queen bitch with anger issues but they put up with me and i might bitch about taking care of the farm or other shit but in the end i know i'm lucky, i didn't grow up with parents that beat me or sexually abused me or abandoned me to do things for themselves and for that i'm enternally grateful now back to your uninterrupted non mushy blog reading lol.

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No such animal

Human ATM is a term thrown about but i honestly don't believe such a creature exists for several reasons one of which is that human ATM's are people and people have preferences and limitations so their aren't a machine if they see a Domme they don't like then of course they aren't going to tribute that Domme. Additionally if they tributed everyone that walked along then they would run out of money fairly quickly.

I think the subs that identify as a human ATM often times don't think of it in these terms and try to think of it simply, as another humiliating term to be thrown about. If i ever a actual human ATM i'll be pretty surprised because i often wonder if that's a possible thing. I've met a couple subs over time who did tribute upon first contact i doubt that was because they were a human ATM though but because they were trying to get my attention.

I do find that subs who identify as human ATM's tend to be sluts though, which i love a good slut as long as their honest about being one i find it's easier to not have to take the responsibility for a sub and while ownership is great fun it can be a lot of work so sluts do have their purpose as well. They also aid newer Dommes in getting their confidence sometimes at least from what i've seen. So that's why i don't believe that human ATM's are real.

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Too late to turn back

As most people who've read my blogs know or who know me personally know that i've had a hard life that i have had a tough childhood. So i think it'd be cathartic to explain the latest that has unfolded in my life. firstly though, i need to recap some of my history for those who aren't current. my sister is older by 2 1/2 years she was the favored blonde princess i was the tom boy well right after my sister turned 18 on my moms 51st birthday she ran away from home in the middle of the night saying simply "i'm going for a walk" she left with a man she had just met off the internet we didn't see her again for 3 years finding out she had left state. During this period of time she treated my family like crap, fast forward to us rescuing her from that man being abusive she seemed like her again for a while.

Until she tried to get me disowned from my family for being a domme (a fact that my parents already knew so it didn't work) well recently she got into a fight with her fiancee and tried killing herself she was put into a institution and during that period refused contact with her family once she got out she blamed everything wrong in her life on us me in particular so now once again my mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and i've been having a emotional time myself. at one point my sister got her fiancees mother to text me and attack me saying it was all my fault that both my sister and my mother had problems claiming i was physically abusive and verbally abusive so i've found my sister is not only making false claims about me behind my back but also having others attack me. The fact that she went around telling others about my rape as a child saying it was traumatic for her when she didn't know for years later she's always been a attention seeker and this just shines the light brighter on that.

I had bought her a gift when she got out of the institution and she blew it off, she texted us repeatedly to let us know she didn't want us in her life until i finally lost it and told her that she could avoid me and hate me all she wanted but her mother gave her life and her fiancee was who she was fighting when she ended up in the institution for saying she couldn't go to college and that she was lower than a dog. So i told her it wasn't right that she push away her mother whom if it wasn't for her she wouldn't have life in the first place again like she did when she was 18. I've decided personally now to cut my sister out of my life after she changed her number after i defended my mother. My father doesn't want to give up and i don't know if my mother CAN give her up but i've decided for my own health that i can no longer have my sister in my life i love her and always will but i cannot protect her anymore mental illness isn't a reason to throw your family in the garbage given everything she was diagnosed with i was and then some.

I'm not a harsh person i can be when i'm angry and i do have my issues i'm more than willing to admit but i'm a good sister and a good daughter. i chose to give up a lot in my life to take care of my mother and my family farm and every time my sister has needed me i took care of her i protected her when we were kids from situations she'd get herself into and i often feel like the caregiver of the family so if i've disappeared lately this is why, this is why i stepped down from responsibilities in the recent past and this is why i've grown quiet recently i know this might not be domination related as much as my typical blogs but i felt it needed to be aired out and said so that i could try to move on.

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A riding lesson with Mistress ColdBloodedDomme

this is a erotica/fantasy story written by my pony bitch collared.

I heard the command from my Mistress Coldblooddedomme and knew not to keep Her waiting. I made my way crawling on all fours to where She stood. Mistress was wearing her black leather boots which came to just below her knees and put an extra 5 or 6 inches on to her height. Her fishnet stockings accentuated Her full powerful thighs. Above Her panties Mistress was wearing a claret coloured corset which showed off her fabulous figure.
In contrast I was naked but for a pair of knee pads and leather wrist bands which offered support for what was about to come.
I stopped next to my Mistress. I felt a bit being pushed into my mouth and reins draping down my back. A sharp pull on the reins made me jerk my head upright.
Mistress then went about placing a saddle on my back with stirrups either side. As She cinched the saddle in place She gave my penis a quick slap. "I hope that little thing is not going to cause any trouble today".
I shook my head.
The next I knew I could feel Mistresses majestic weight as She swung on to the saddle. My back curved a little before a sharp swat from Mistresses crop made me straighten up. I heard the command and commenced my journey round the room. I knew some of Mistresses more powerful ponies could carry Her for 50 laps. Mistress knew I was not strong enough for that yet but did expect 20. I set off at a lively pace. I could hear Mistress saying "good boy" and this made me feel very proud. My penis, normally so small began to grow as I felt Mistresses strong thighs clamping on to my sides.
I recalled the first time I had been used in this way. I had decided to play up and test Mistress out. It was a very short rebellion and one which ended badly for me.
Mistress had taken me down to one side still with Her thighs wrapped around my middle. "You've just made your first and last mistake" I remember her whispering into my ear. "I've broken horses many times stronger than you"! She then proceeded to squeeze the life out of me. "I could break you in two if I wanted. Just be grateful it's not your neck in between my thighs"! The force on my ribs had been inmmense and I was sure something would give as I battled for breath. It had seemed like ages though it was probably no more than a couple on minutes but my Mistress had made her point. That had been my last attempt at being stubborn!
Back to the present I was slowing down after my early progress. My head dropped a couple of times and Mistress pulled sharply on the reins to get me to raise it. I was over the halfway mark but struggling. I stopped. "Come on pony you've got 6 more laps to do!" I felt a couple of swats on my naked bottom as Mistress used the crop. A squeeze from Her thighs and I was off again. My back ached, my legs ached but mostly it was my arms which hurt the most. Two more laps and I crashed forward on to the mat. Again I felt the crop. I was yanked up and Mistress reasserted her positon in the saddle. "I'll have to get you working on the weights to strengthen those puny arms of yours!". As much as I loved the feeling of Mistress riding me I was really struggling to carry Her. The final two laps were painful. Full of stops and starts and what racing stewards would call excesive use of the whip! I could sense saliva dripping from my mouth as I carried my Mistress round the mat for the final time. "Come on boy you're nearly there!" I so wanted to please Her! Despite all the pain and effort my cock was as hard as ever. After I triumphantly carried Mistress accross the line I collapsed in a heap. Mistress remained in the saddle and congratulated me. The combination of pleasing Her and feeling Her beautiful bottom pressing my cock into the mat was too much. I came!
As Mistress dismounted and ordered me to rise the mess I had made on the mat became evident. "I thought I told you to control yourself!" Mistress shouted. As I puffed and panted I looked down at the white puddle and guessed what was coming next.
"I suppose you're thirsty after giving your Mistress a ride". "Well there's something to drink". Mistress gave my bottom a firm hit with the crop and I began to lap up my own mess. I felt Mistresses boot on the back of my neck. "You're going nowhere until it's all disappeared".
I lapped away still exhausted yet proud to have carried my Mistress for so long.
Pain and pleasure. I wouldn't want it any other way!

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tips/what to avoid for fledgling findommes

One of the things i get asked most often by newer dommes is "how much time do i waste with a sub before i get tributed?" the answer is simple it's however much time your willing to waste on that person, there is no guarantee of tribute just cause a sub has financial fetish listed or has something like atm in his name so in this blog i'm going to go over some of my personal dos and don'ts of findomme for newbies.

1. Don't expect a living off of it it's not regular and it can be detrimental to yourself to expect it to be in other words if it's something you need that you can't live without don't rely on a sub to get it get it for yourself and if a sub comes along and tributes it thats great if not your not disappointed because you can handle yourself.

2. Don't have subs buy you things of sentimental value unless you want that item forever associated with that sub. subs are fleeting creatures while there is loyalty among some most bounce around a bit if it's something you wanna love forever don't let a sub tarnish the sentimental value.

3. Learn your own personal limits of what your willing to do to domme etc. i have met quite a few dommes early on who pushed their own limits and regretted it if it's a fetish your not comfortable with don't offer it no matter the amount of tribute it still wont pay back feeling guilty or like you've disrespected yourself.

4. Don't whine if your having a hard time or try to play pity party it's classless and really just kinda blech subs pick up on desperation and it's not a attractive qaulity on any woman let alone one thats supposed to be in control.

5. Pictures while you don't need to be naked or anything like that pictures whether it's a body shot in t shirt and jeans a nice beauty shot of your face or some nice pics of your feet/hands men are visual creatures sometimes just having a variety of flattering pictures can get a sub looking at your profile and then more enticed to read you thoughts and speak to you.

6. Honesty while having a honest sub is of the utmost importance to most dommes honesty is a two way street if your married and a sub asks don't lie it might come back to bite you in the ass, and while we're discussing lies don't lie about your experience level if your new to findom wear your newness with pride.

7. Don't let the fakes and time wasters get you down yes theres a lot of them out there they tend to piss off/annoy most people because they make a joke of our fetish but bitching about it makes you seem like a dog with a bone. By all means if you think other ladies are going to get scammed make sure the sub gets a deserved reputation but try not to be too personally offended when the fuck with you cause their just walking boners minus a brain.

8. Typically if they have ATM Money Tribute or anything like that in their name especially on sites like collarme their big ole fake asses. Their are exceptions i'm not saying ALL who do this are i'm just saying that if they have it in their name proceed with caution.

9. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, subs have their preferences just like any person. Some will call you fat some will call you skinny some will say your too tatooed some will say your not tattooed enough so on a so forth while that can be hurtful and their assholes for judging rudely (some will even say your too blank to domme me) remember your confidence and remember your beautiful just the way you are no matter if your skinny as a rail or wide as a house covered in ink or virginal skin black white purple pink whatever you are you for a reason that alone makes you beautiful.

10. Don't spread yourself too thin, i've seen a lot of newer dommes get frustrated by having all these subs wanting constant attention be clear how much attention you intend to give and don't take on more than you can handle it'll keep your stress level at least some what reasonable

11. If your having a hard time getting subs take more time to learn and don't get frustrated because sometimes tributes can be harder to come by.

12. Holidays suck for tributes especially christmas etc because their worrying about their families and friends and less likely to have extra spoiling money around that time of year.

13. Don't let them get away with more than your comfortable with. I personally have a rule about honesty if a sub lies to me they get dismissed they can sit there and tribute me still if they like but they are refused ownership.

14. Don't try to turn a whore into a housewife. What do i mean by that you might be wondering? well it's simple some subs are community whores which means loyalty isn't their forte they want a variety of dommes and will figure out a way to get them end of story don't try to own a sub thats a community whore all you'll get is a cheater.

15. Risk involved, as with anything that is sexually appealing such as modeling or being a domme there is a risk of stalkers so try to keep your real name hidden protect yourself because you don't know who is really on the other end of the computer and it can be relatively easy to find out personal info about you if you don't watch your butt.

16. Lasting effect, someone once told me the internet and what goes on it is forever so unless your okay with what you post and do being found maybe the it might be time to rethink your online activities, if you arent okay with things coming back to bite you in the ass.

17. Sisterhood, too many times new dommes think that it's a competition with fellow dommes it's not if we stick together and be happy for one another it's much harder for snakes to slip in our midst if we all have open communication then we know when a sub we're unfamiliar with is a fake or not etc we can help one another.

18. Don't take what isn't yours if a sub has ownership in his profile his status or has been claimed as such don't go screwing with that you wouldn't walk up and steal another womans jewelery why would you steal her property in any other sense?

19. Faked or resent tributes, don't let unfamiliar subs tribute by buying off your wishlist it can be faked and it can be used to screw you out of a tribute until you know a sub well gift cards are best because once a code is redeemed it cannot be resent for that reason claim your codes as soon as you get them. Another thing is paypal it's easy to dispute the money there and it's not adult industry friendly so only let trusted subs paypal you so you don't get left holding the bag or worse having your account frozen and losing all your funds.

20. If your overwhelmed take a break don't be ashamed sometimes life stress etc all can get in the way if you need to step away it doesn't make you a bad domme or a bad person it makes you a human being who needs a break. Do what is best for you the lifestyle will be here when you come back.

21. Rome wasn't built in a day don't expect to be a rockstar overnight you have to build a reputation and learn your own style you may see dommes flooded with subs well don't feel bad if that isn't you right away because things can take time.

22. Don't let a sub buy you, some subs think they can get whatever they want for a certain amount that shouldn't be the case if it's something your uncomfortable with or don't provide then don't do it for any amount. For instance i only do cam or TV sessions when i feel like it sometimes a sub will contact me and i'll be in the mood to do those things so i do other times i'm just not feeling it and tell them maybe later.

23. It's okay not to be ON all the time, sometimes you want to be a person if a sub doesn't allow that then he's probably not a very good sub we may be dommes but we're also human and while we're always the one who is superior in the dynamic we still have feelings etc it's okay to have a sad day or show emotion.

24. It's okay to get busy with your real life where your not online every second of the day, most of us work or have family or other outside obligations and cannot spend every waking moment domming some do but it doesn't mean you have to it means you need to find your own balance.

these are just some tips i have for newbies feel free to add your own. hopefully you'll find them helpful. this has also been edited to add suggestions from other ladies who have thoughtful and helpful ideas that are also good tips and suggestions.
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entitlement

This time i'm writing about the confusion subs often have about findommes. I've found subs who tribute often expect that they should get something and while i always try to give something back and do something positive about tributes, that doesn't mean it's owed to them and that entitled attitude is one of the number one things that makes me want to hurt them and not in a good way. I get on cam when i want to get on cam i'm cam verified on findoms and some financial fetish groups on fetlife as well as having a profile video one collarme, so i'm obviously me if a sub can't prove himself than he's not worth my time as i have more than proven myself.

While i do nudity in modeling and such it doesn't mean i'll get naked with a sub, have i? yes i can honestly say i have and i have no shame on that fact because it was what i wanted when i wanted And also he didn't ask. Just like getting to play with me in real time is a privilege anything i choose to show is a privilege tributing does not automatically allow for you to have such a privilege. I'm not a cam girl and while i am a pro domme that is approached completely different than my financial fetish. I'm not saying theres anything wrong with cam girls phone sex operators etc i'm just saying theres a clear distinction to that and financial domination.

A respectful sub should come to a domme placing tribute at her feet without expectation, even better if they don't have to be told to tribute. granted  know not all subs are going to be selfless in this sense but just don't expect that just because you buy a domme lingerie that she has to post pictures or buy her a vibrator means you get to see her use it or even know how the hell your money is being spent because it's about the fetish of handing over your hard earned cash to a wonderful dominant lady.

I get so tired of seeing subs feel an entitlement that just because they've got a few bucks they can get a domme to jump through hoops, well my response is to set your hoops on fire and make you my little bitch circus preformer and make you jump through your own hoops. I can be a very generous kind domme to those who earn my affections to those who expect it aren't worth kissing my ass.

I had a sub recently try to setup a play session on cam claimed he was rich blah blah blah but refused to tribute in the form i wanted him to which was a simple amazon gift card well once he refused i told him to take a hike, he told me he was coming to colorado in a few weeks and would give me hundreds of dollars if i gave him a second chance and met up with him my response was simple if he didn't respect my wishes online i highly doubted he would in person so i told him to shoo fly.

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Needs VS Wants

This blog is about financial dommes and needing verses wanting which i think is a important distinction.

Growing up my mother taught me to be self reliant that if a needed something in my life i should be able to get it for myself because relying on others men in particular could be a dangerous game. This could've been because my mother was married 3 times once to a cheater once to a abuser and to my father finally, given that situation her first two husbands left her high and dry. In other words momma didn't raise no fool.

The important distinction here is that in a power exchange a domme is supposed to have her desires fulfilled to the the best of their subs ability. While subs and dommes are not equal once a dynamic has been established i think partially this is because the domme makes a point of not NEEDING but WANTING her sub. The dynamic becomes skewed if the domme has to have her sub to survive it kills the fantasy and often times if you ask the subs themselves the find dommes who need their subs to seem desperate. I personally don't want to be seen as a desperate woman. Also i find it more enriching for the relationship to make the sub feel wanted because then they know your not keeping them around because you have to but simply because you desire to have them there for their betterment and your amusement.

I've seen a lot of dommes begging like little puppy dogs for finsubs and not only does it reek of desperation but it also gives over all the power to the sub after all if they know you can't survive without them then their more likely to try to get away with more stuff such a disobedience topping from the bottom cheating etc because they know the likelihood of being dismissed is slim to none.

Now i'm not saying don't have a sub take on the privilege of paying your bills etc but always keep them aware that it is a privilege to do so because you can pay your own bills and them contributing to your bills is a special privilege that allows you to have extra money for doing other things. Arrogance in a submissive because they feel like they hold your life in their hands is not something i'd want in the slightest if it's something other dommes want then thats fine but i have my pride and i know i can handle and take care of myself.

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what submission means to me

I've beenthinking about real submission verses fetish boys so i figured i'd write my own about how i feel about the matter that and i've been feeling very into writing lately. I don't think i need to add that we're discussing financial subs here but i will anyway. I think a fetish boy will tribute either to get attention sessions pictures etc where as a real sub boy will tribute to sacrifice for his domme he doesn't need to have rewards for his tributes though they tend to appreciate them. They also tend to be more respectful in the long run.

A prime example of a true submissive is my boy Collared he's never even so much as asked me what i spend his money on and whether one or both of us are busy or not i still wake up every monday morning to find my tribute from him which he does because he knows it makes me wake up with a smile on my face. When he won my birthday tribute contest he had won a custom photo from me and he came to me respectfully for his prize he didn't ask for a pussy piture or anything trashy like that he asked for a seductive photo of me in riding gear and he's the only one who's ever seen that photo and ever will because it was taken specifically for him as he was the winner.

A prime example of a fetish boy is a guy who used to serve me back when i was a beginner i'll call him sub X he claimed submission all over his CM profile messaged me begging to tribute me but when i allowed it he wanted to pick and choose what he bought me ignoring what i really wanted at the time, so i said fuck it might as well. Well X before long begged to be owned and for a bit he started acting a little better but after a few days he admitted he'd been running around tributing anyone with beautiful long hair (this was partially why i cut off all my hair cause it was my way of saying fuck you plus i was getting tired of long hair) at that time i asked him if he was really wanting to serve me or if he just liked me for the way i looked he admitted it was my looks and then i ditched his ass he still occasionally contacts me though hasn't for a while since i've been ever more firm with him.

the point is although every lady is beautiful in their own way i don't want a sub to want me just for my looks or my body parts i want a sub who wants to serve me because of my mind because of my intelligence and my way of domination if you find me beautiful thats fine and sweet but when you submit yourself to me your submitting to me not to a picture not to a fantasy to a real live woman who though rewards good behavior isn't obligated to do so and when you decide to push the issues it makes me less likely to want to reward you.

I do also sometimes wonder if the findom fetish attracts spending addicts but thats another matter entirely. I put up my wishlists because not all subs are brave and some worship from afar i've gotten the odd gift card here and there from secret admirers and since they didn't want me to know who they were i didn't go looking i'd make a post asking who sent it if they didn't come forth that just meant he didn't want me to know. i'm not desperate i live my life without need of tribute i don't need you or have to have you i want you a choose to have you in my life, wich also in turn means if you piss me off i probably wont want you in my life anymore serving a domme is a priviledge respect that priviledge by respecting the ladies you serve boys and if your a fetish boy or a slut boy say it up front it makes me less likely to want to hit you with a clue by four.

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