One of the things i get asked most often by newer dommes is "how much time do i waste with a sub before i get tributed?" the answer is simple it's however much time your willing to waste on that person, there is no guarantee of tribute just cause a sub has financial fetish listed or has something like atm in his name so in this blog i'm going to go over some of my personal dos and don'ts of findomme for newbies.
1. Don't expect a living off of it it's not regular and it can be detrimental to yourself to expect it to be in other words if it's something you need that you can't live without don't rely on a sub to get it get it for yourself and if a sub comes along and tributes it thats great if not your not disappointed because you can handle yourself.
2. Don't have subs buy you things of sentimental value unless you want that item forever associated with that sub. subs are fleeting creatures while there is loyalty among some most bounce around a bit if it's something you wanna love forever don't let a sub tarnish the sentimental value.
3. Learn your own personal limits of what your willing to do to domme etc. i have met quite a few dommes early on who pushed their own limits and regretted it if it's a fetish your not comfortable with don't offer it no matter the amount of tribute it still wont pay back feeling guilty or like you've disrespected yourself.
4. Don't whine if your having a hard time or try to play pity party it's classless and really just kinda blech subs pick up on desperation and it's not a attractive qaulity on any woman let alone one thats supposed to be in control.
5. Pictures while you don't need to be naked or anything like that pictures whether it's a body shot in t shirt and jeans a nice beauty shot of your face or some nice pics of your feet/hands men are visual creatures sometimes just having a variety of flattering pictures can get a sub looking at your profile and then more enticed to read you thoughts and speak to you.
6. Honesty while having a honest sub is of the utmost importance to most dommes honesty is a two way street if your married and a sub asks don't lie it might come back to bite you in the ass, and while we're discussing lies don't lie about your experience level if your new to findom wear your newness with pride.
7. Don't let the fakes and time wasters get you down yes theres a lot of them out there they tend to piss off/annoy most people because they make a joke of our fetish but bitching about it makes you seem like a dog with a bone. By all means if you think other ladies are going to get scammed make sure the sub gets a deserved reputation but try not to be too personally offended when the fuck with you cause their just walking boners minus a brain.
8. Typically if they have ATM Money Tribute or anything like that in their name especially on sites like collarme their big ole fake asses. Their are exceptions i'm not saying ALL who do this are i'm just saying that if they have it in their name proceed with caution.
9. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, subs have their preferences just like any person. Some will call you fat some will call you skinny some will say your too tatooed some will say your not tattooed enough so on a so forth while that can be hurtful and their assholes for judging rudely (some will even say your too blank to domme me) remember your confidence and remember your beautiful just the way you are no matter if your skinny as a rail or wide as a house covered in ink or virginal skin black white purple pink whatever you are you for a reason that alone makes you beautiful.
10. Don't spread yourself too thin, i've seen a lot of newer dommes get frustrated by having all these subs wanting constant attention be clear how much attention you intend to give and don't take on more than you can handle it'll keep your stress level at least some what reasonable
11. If your having a hard time getting subs take more time to learn and don't get frustrated because sometimes tributes can be harder to come by.
12. Holidays suck for tributes especially christmas etc because their worrying about their families and friends and less likely to have extra spoiling money around that time of year.
13. Don't let them get away with more than your comfortable with. I personally have a rule about honesty if a sub lies to me they get dismissed they can sit there and tribute me still if they like but they are refused ownership.
14. Don't try to turn a whore into a housewife. What do i mean by that you might be wondering? well it's simple some subs are community whores which means loyalty isn't their forte they want a variety of dommes and will figure out a way to get them end of story don't try to own a sub thats a community whore all you'll get is a cheater.
15. Risk involved, as with anything that is sexually appealing such as modeling or being a domme there is a risk of stalkers so try to keep your real name hidden protect yourself because you don't know who is really on the other end of the computer and it can be relatively easy to find out personal info about you if you don't watch your butt.
16. Lasting effect, someone once told me the internet and what goes on it is forever so unless your okay with what you post and do being found maybe the it might be time to rethink your online activities, if you arent okay with things coming back to bite you in the ass.
17. Sisterhood, too many times new dommes think that it's a competition with fellow dommes it's not if we stick together and be happy for one another it's much harder for snakes to slip in our midst if we all have open communication then we know when a sub we're unfamiliar with is a fake or not etc we can help one another.
18. Don't take what isn't yours if a sub has ownership in his profile his status or has been claimed as such don't go screwing with that you wouldn't walk up and steal another womans jewelery why would you steal her property in any other sense?
19. Faked or resent tributes, don't let unfamiliar subs tribute by buying off your wishlist it can be faked and it can be used to screw you out of a tribute until you know a sub well gift cards are best because once a code is redeemed it cannot be resent for that reason claim your codes as soon as you get them. Another thing is paypal it's easy to dispute the money there and it's not adult industry friendly so only let trusted subs paypal you so you don't get left holding the bag or worse having your account frozen and losing all your funds.
20. If your overwhelmed take a break don't be ashamed sometimes life stress etc all can get in the way if you need to step away it doesn't make you a bad domme or a bad person it makes you a human being who needs a break. Do what is best for you the lifestyle will be here when you come back.
21. Rome wasn't built in a day don't expect to be a rockstar overnight you have to build a reputation and learn your own style you may see dommes flooded with subs well don't feel bad if that isn't you right away because things can take time.
22. Don't let a sub buy you, some subs think they can get whatever they want for a certain amount that shouldn't be the case if it's something your uncomfortable with or don't provide then don't do it for any amount. For instance i only do cam or TV sessions when i feel like it sometimes a sub will contact me and i'll be in the mood to do those things so i do other times i'm just not feeling it and tell them maybe later.
23. It's okay not to be ON all the time, sometimes you want to be a person if a sub doesn't allow that then he's probably not a very good sub we may be dommes but we're also human and while we're always the one who is superior in the dynamic we still have feelings etc it's okay to have a sad day or show emotion.
24. It's okay to get busy with your real life where your not online every second of the day, most of us work or have family or other outside obligations and cannot spend every waking moment domming some do but it doesn't mean you have to it means you need to find your own balance.
these are just some tips i have for newbies feel free to add your own. hopefully you'll find them helpful. this has also been edited to add suggestions from other ladies who have thoughtful and helpful ideas that are also good tips and suggestions.
Accessories http://amzn.com/w/18VW26OOMUCRA
Bedroom/Household http://amzn.com/w/2NVEC8154IUGR
Books http://amzn.com/w/VRT6Q9LVCZVF
Clothes http://amzn.com/w/1MT8AYGE85ZIF
Corsets http://amzn.com/w/382SW2CV96T0V
Cosmetics http://amzn.com/w/3OZANY2N67DIL
Fetishwear http://amzn.com/w/3JDXKP0H9AYWH
Jewelry http://amzn.com/w/1JQFDD7GBGJMO
Lingerie http://amzn.com/w/36YH8JPBTZ0WM
Pet http://amzn.com/w/16AX8WPPQ05KL
Shoes http://amzn.com/w/TSHJ25M1KPKJ
Snacks/Candy http://amzn.com/w/1G0J2RET5M8PN
Toys/BDSM http://amzn.com/w/2VYEF103IK9LZ
Video games/Electronics http://amzn.com/w/2Z4UBRMTJIP3L
Wigs http://amzn.com/w/1XEG27BG0FRR0
Spring/valentines http://amzn.com/w/2T0RXX5R0H0BT
No comments:
Post a Comment