As most people who've read my blogs know or who know me personally know that i've had a hard life that i have had a tough childhood. So i think it'd be cathartic to explain the latest that has unfolded in my life. firstly though, i need to recap some of my history for those who aren't current. my sister is older by 2 1/2 years she was the favored blonde princess i was the tom boy well right after my sister turned 18 on my moms 51st birthday she ran away from home in the middle of the night saying simply "i'm going for a walk" she left with a man she had just met off the internet we didn't see her again for 3 years finding out she had left state. During this period of time she treated my family like crap, fast forward to us rescuing her from that man being abusive she seemed like her again for a while.
Until she tried to get me disowned from my family for being a domme (a fact that my parents already knew so it didn't work) well recently she got into a fight with her fiancee and tried killing herself she was put into a institution and during that period refused contact with her family once she got out she blamed everything wrong in her life on us me in particular so now once again my mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and i've been having a emotional time myself. at one point my sister got her fiancees mother to text me and attack me saying it was all my fault that both my sister and my mother had problems claiming i was physically abusive and verbally abusive so i've found my sister is not only making false claims about me behind my back but also having others attack me. The fact that she went around telling others about my rape as a child saying it was traumatic for her when she didn't know for years later she's always been a attention seeker and this just shines the light brighter on that.
I had bought her a gift when she got out of the institution and she blew it off, she texted us repeatedly to let us know she didn't want us in her life until i finally lost it and told her that she could avoid me and hate me all she wanted but her mother gave her life and her fiancee was who she was fighting when she ended up in the institution for saying she couldn't go to college and that she was lower than a dog. So i told her it wasn't right that she push away her mother whom if it wasn't for her she wouldn't have life in the first place again like she did when she was 18. I've decided personally now to cut my sister out of my life after she changed her number after i defended my mother. My father doesn't want to give up and i don't know if my mother CAN give her up but i've decided for my own health that i can no longer have my sister in my life i love her and always will but i cannot protect her anymore mental illness isn't a reason to throw your family in the garbage given everything she was diagnosed with i was and then some.
I'm not a harsh person i can be when i'm angry and i do have my issues i'm more than willing to admit but i'm a good sister and a good daughter. i chose to give up a lot in my life to take care of my mother and my family farm and every time my sister has needed me i took care of her i protected her when we were kids from situations she'd get herself into and i often feel like the caregiver of the family so if i've disappeared lately this is why, this is why i stepped down from responsibilities in the recent past and this is why i've grown quiet recently i know this might not be domination related as much as my typical blogs but i felt it needed to be aired out and said so that i could try to move on.
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